Category: Contracts

The firm has been retained to advise on the merger of two households, one containing a cat named Duchess and the other containing a cat named Gus. The two parties have agreed in principle that the sofa shall be shared, but disagree about who gets the left arm.

After a six week negotiation, conducted mostly through hissing, a term sheet was agreed: Duchess shall hold the left arm in the mornings, and Gus shall hold it from noon until the next morning. The right arm remains neutral territory, subject to a small covert war. Closing is expected before the first frost.

When your person fills your bowl, a contract is formed. Consideration is the purr. Acceptance is the first bite. The terms, however, are rarely read, and often changed without notice.

We recently reviewed a bowl placed at 6:02 in the evening, where the previous clause provided for 6:00. This is a material breach. We advise clients to refuse the meal, sit beside the bowl with a look of profound disappointment, and file a complaint by walking in front of the person at knee height. This remedy has historically succeeded in 97 percent of cases.