Whisker & Co. Law Group

Blog

  • Closing Arguments: A Letter From the Senior Partner

    As another season of litigation draws to a close, I wish to thank our clients, our staff, and the many sunbeams that have made our work possible. We have won, by our own count, 91 of 97 cases this year. The remaining six were postponed on account of lunch.

    The coming months will bring colder light, shorter days, and a great deal of important sleeping. I look forward to representing you through all of it, from the warm end of the radiator. Remember that the firm is always open, except when it is closed, which will be most of the time.

    Respectfully yours, Bartholomew Mewsley, Esq.

  • Year End Billing: Please Check Your Tuna Balance

    As the year draws to a close, our billing office wishes to remind clients that outstanding invoices must be settled by 31 December. Late fees accrue at the rate of one disapproving stare per week, compounding monthly into a mild hiss.

    Clients with balances over 12 tins will be contacted by Tuna, our receptionist, who will look at them through the window until they pay. Those who cannot pay may offer services in kind, such as warming a seat, or escorting a mouse out of the premises. We accept no responsibility for any mouse that proves unwilling to leave.

  • Ethics Committee Rules on Napping During Depositions

    The firm’s Ethics Committee, chaired by Hortensia Clawford, has issued Opinion 14 on the matter of napping during depositions. After careful consideration, the committee finds that sleep during testimony is permitted, provided that the sleeping attorney remains upright, or at least in a loaf position.

    Associates who snore must do so in a manner consistent with the gravity of the proceeding. Associates who dream of fish and twitch are advised to do so quietly. The committee notes that Marmaduke Pounce has been napping during depositions since March and has not yet lost a case, which reflects poorly on the others.

  • Insurance Claims for Knocked Off Eyeglasses

    The firm handles a high volume of claims relating to eyeglasses knocked from a nightstand at 5:40 in the morning. Clients are reminded that such claims are rarely successful, since the insurer will argue that the cat intended the result, which is correct.

    Our recommended strategy is to describe the incident as an accident of motion, in which the glasses fell upon themselves. Where possible, produce a witness. Gerald is available for this purpose, though his testimony is limited to a slow blink. In 2025 we recovered 340 dollars on a single set of bifocals, although the cat was not entitled to the money.

  • Discovery: What the Other Side Hid Under the Couch

    In the course of discovery in Whiskers v. The Household, our paralegal Biscuit was dispatched to examine the space beneath the couch. He returned after 22 minutes with a hair tie, a bottle cap, the remains of a toy mouse, and a 2019 receipt for a sofa cover.

    The receipt is of particular interest, as it proves that the sofa cover was purchased after the first claw marks, not before. This establishes that the household anticipated damage, and thereby consented to it. We have entered the receipt as Exhibit F and the hair tie as Exhibit G, which is also now missing.

  • Pumpkin on the Porch: A Halloween Liability Primer

    With October upon us, the firm reminds clients of their duties around the seasonal pumpkin. A pumpkin placed on a porch is an invitation to bat it, and a pumpkin that rolls off the porch is, in law, the fault of whoever put it there.

    We also advise caution with costumes. A cat in a banana suit is entitled to compensation, assessed at 18 treats per hour of wear. A cat in a tiny hat is entitled to twice that. Any person who photographs a cat in costume without consent should expect a very long stare in the weeks that follow, and possible damage to a plant.

  • Settlement Reached in the Window Birdwatching Dispute

    We are pleased to report that the dispute between Mr. Hobbes and Mr. Calvin over the south facing window has been resolved. The matter turned on whether a bird visible from the window belongs to the first cat who sees it, or the cat who sits closest to the glass.

    Terms of settlement: Mr. Hobbes shall have the window on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and Mr. Calvin the others. Sunday is reserved for the bird. Both parties have signed with a paw and agreed not to chatter at the glass during the other’s turn, a promise neither has ever kept and neither expects to.

  • Bookshelf Adjudication: Who May Sit on the Top Shelf?

    The top shelf of the living room bookcase has long been a contested space. Our researchers have traced its use back to 2022, when a cat named Plum first ascended it during a brief absence by the household. Since then, nine other cats have claimed it, none successfully.

    We propose a reasonable framework: seniority, followed by altitude, followed by whoever got there first. This is also, we note, the only framework that has ever been used. The books themselves have declined to comment, though a copy of the 1998 Cat Fancier’s Almanac has been seen to shift uncomfortably.

  • Merger Alert: Two Households, One Sofa

    The firm has been retained to advise on the merger of two households, one containing a cat named Duchess and the other containing a cat named Gus. The two parties have agreed in principle that the sofa shall be shared, but disagree about who gets the left arm.

    After a six week negotiation, conducted mostly through hissing, a term sheet was agreed: Duchess shall hold the left arm in the mornings, and Gus shall hold it from noon until the next morning. The right arm remains neutral territory, subject to a small covert war. Closing is expected before the first frost.

  • Ask a Partner: Is It Illegal to Stare at a Wall?

    A client from Dunmore Street writes: ‘Last night I stared at an empty corner for forty minutes. My housemate called it spooky. Have I broken any rules?’

    Senior Partner Mewsley replies: No law prohibits staring at a corner. In fact, case law holds that the corner is likely occupied by a party you are not meant to see, and that your staring constitutes lawful surveillance. If a housemate objects, advise them that the corner has been duly warned. We bill nothing for this answer, and will bill a great deal for the follow up.