Our client, Mr. Pickles, was recently subjected to a bath without a hearing. He was lifted, carried, and placed in warm water by a single adult, in what we consider a textbook violation of due process. At no point was he given notice, nor an opportunity to argue that he was already clean.
Associate Marmaduke Pounce has filed for damages in the amount of six tins of salmon pate, plus emotional distress. A settlement offer arrived on Monday in the form of a towel and a treat. We have rejected the towel and are considering the treat, which we may keep as evidence.
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